If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
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he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
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I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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