There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
