Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
