i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
