Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
