Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
