to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize