3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
