omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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