Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
