It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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