Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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