Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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