i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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