in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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