Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
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