Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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