when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
