clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
