btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i used baking grease as lip gloss
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?