Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?