ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight