he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
if only i could text you this smell
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i think my cat just said my name.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
