They should really pass out barf bags in church
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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