I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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