i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
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After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
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I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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