Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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