I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
