is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
