Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
