so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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