So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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