She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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