I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
