The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
