please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i was born a porn star she said
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
