i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Your dad touched me again.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
