i barfeds in our rink
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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