Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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