My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
