and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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