At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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