i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
