NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
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At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
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Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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