I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
