But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
