They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
