Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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