PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
