He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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