Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
