somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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