sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
