I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
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I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
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Someone came in the potted fern
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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