Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
