Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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