i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
