I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
