You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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