Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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