ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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