so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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