Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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