Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
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I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
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you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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