I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize